5 weirdest things I’ve Googled


Dear Google,

Thank you for not reporting me to the cops as a dangerous psychopath. I’m a writer, not an impending murderer.


A horror writer

Writers in general tend to have strange Google search histories, but I have to believe horror writers really take the cake on the bizarro search list. Here are five of my more bizarre searches:

1. Generic version? The various ways one might die. This one could really be a list all its own. For example:

a. How to get electrocuted in the bathroom
b. From how high up do you have to fall to die
c. Weird ways to die
d. How long to bleed to death from X injury

2. Most common names of murder victims

I did not get a good result on this one, though I did find out that there are a lot of murderers / serial killers with the middle name Wayne. If this is your middle name, you can expect me to be giving you the squint-eye periodically.

Now what to name my victims?

3. How to start a cult

This one does have good results. In fact, it comes up with a few different options laid out in steps. Very handy, you know, for my fictional characters who are starting cults… cough cough.

4. Burned skin

Okay, maybe not the weirdest thing to Google, but I did get a lot of weird looks at the coffee shop as I collected a variety of images of skin in varying stages of burn. My defense? I was writing about a demon and needed sufficient inspiration.

Yes, that means I have a folder of burned skin pictures. Maybe that is what I should have led with on the weird scale.

5. Antidotes to paralytic agents

There’s a lot of them, actually. No, I’m not going to paralyze (or unparalyze) anyone. One of my monsters does, however. I also needed the most efficient delivery system for both the paralytic agent and its antidote. Also for the monster. Promise.

What are the weirdest things you’ve Googled as a writer?

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